Self-care is a phrase we use a lot in this work and recently I've had a revelation. Bear with me as this will sound ridiculous. I have realised that I am the only person who can take responsibility for avoiding my own burn out. I hear you - 'yes Rachel, how has this taken you this many years to figure out?!'
This work is unrelenting in many ways, and because of the nature of it it's easy to feel guilty about needing breaks. But my boss won't moderate my working hours, my staff won't tell me to stop, there's always more that people need, there's always more I can do. So I have to make conscious decisions about my own lifestyle and I have to be disciplined in those choices otherwise I will reach burn out. I have to decide what is a reasonable number of office hours a week and only deviate from that when truly essential. I have to stick to the other plans I've made to stay healthy - taking exercise, eating proper food, getting enough sleep, making enough time for friends, carving out time to be creative, making sure I call family and friends at home regularly.
R&R is the one thing all agencies put in place to help staff avoid burn out. Depending on where you work in the world you will be sent out of the county on a regular break, paid for by your employer. For me at the moment I'm on a 12 week R&R cycle. Every 12 weeks in-country I do, I get sent out for a week. I get to choose where I go, and can claim certain costs back up to a budget limit. It's an excellent system :-)
So here I am on R&R in Croatia with the wonderful Becca. So many of my colleagues regularly take R&R breaks alone, but I would struggle to spend a whole week alone. It's a testament to how tired we get though that a lot of people literally stay in a hotel complex for a week simply sleeping and eating. Thankfully I have friends and family who seem ok with holidaying with a tired Rachel!
Invariably on R&R I look back over the last rotation and promise to look after myself better on the next rotation. I'll be more disciplined about limiting my overtime, I'll be better at exercise and cooking. I won't allow things to slide so that I get to week 12 and find that I'm back to eating cereal or crisps for dinner as I'm too tired to cook after 13 hour days. This is the benefit of leaving every 12 weeks - it's the purposeful opportunity to press the re-set button on the bad habits that have crept back in. And I'm grateful that as I look back I realise I am learning these lessons of self-care. I'm a slow learner but small changes have made big differences in the last rotation. I have started a Saturday Supper Club with a few friends as a way to do something fun and meet new people, I've kept up the Book Club, I've started running early in the morning as evenings weren't working for me anymore, I've managed to keep the freezer stocked with home made ready meals, I've done some knitting. The blog has helped me process events. The thing I have not done so well at is limiting working hours. I have still averaged 11 or 12 hours a day for 5 days a week plus a shorter 6th day. I don't have an answer to that, but the next break is only 10 weeks away (I'm claiming back 2 weeks from a long rotation before Christmas), so if all the other good habits stick, I'll survive the long hours.
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