3 months out

Well I've been out of Iraq for 3 months now, officially unemployed for 2.5 months. I originally said that I'd take a minimum of 3 months off work, and I'm forever grateful to the friends and colleagues who told me that should be my minimum. To those not in this work I realise that it can seem quite frivolous to intentionally take so much time off from working, but I know it's essential to do this sometimes. I have had a blast doing lots of pre-planned holidays (which I also had a blast planning whilst still working - it gave me something very tangible to look forward to). I've been on a cruise around the Med, I've had two wonderful holidays in Scotland back to back, and I'm now in the Isles of Scilly by myself for a week before heading back to mainland Cornwall for a week with family and friends. All sandwiched with dates with friends and family, lots of lovely nibling time and a long weekend camping with church.

It's been less of a blast trying to process the last 3.5 years and that is ongoing but so much easier and better than it was 6 weeks ago. I genuinely miss my crazy job, and all my wonderful teams and I'm so grateful that people have kept in touch. Chatting to people on skype and getting the latest news from my offices has been really helpful. I know that people find that weird and think I might process easier or more quickly if I wasn't being told I was missed in Iraq; but actually when you've given so much of yourself for so long it would be painful to simply shut the door on that.

I was looking in the mirror tonight and decided to take a selfie for the blog. Crazy I know. But honestly I looked at my face, and I thought 'I don't look tired'. I haven't got any make up on, I've walked through a windy evening back to my hotel so my hair is knotty, and my face is a bit sun burned. But I think I'm looking fresher than I have in a while. I've also noticed that my clothes are fitting better. I haven't done much to deserve that. I'm sleeping pretty well (haven't had nightmares for a while now), and I'm back to a normal Rach-level of digestive issues. The last remaining sign of stress is my upper back is still being a nuisance but even that is slowly but surely sorting itself out (with the aid of regular massages - poor me).

Of course the obvious question is 'what's next?'. The short answer is I still don't know. I've started to look for work and am just praying that I find the right opportunity. Maybe that will be in the UK for a while, maybe it will be another field posting. At the moment I'm not worried about finding something immediately, there's always more nibling time to be had!

P.S. If you want to see the Iraq that I lived and worked in, there was a 2-part documentary on BBC2 the last two Sundays. I've only managed to watch part 1 so far but it was outstanding and covered lots of areas of work and sightseeing from the last 3.5 years for me. It was called 'Journey in to the Danger Zone: Iraq'.